Terms of Service documents are damn near always boring!
So boring that many people do not actually read them before proceeding.
Hopefully, this one is different.
Because of the nature of our service (i.e., product or Sextract), we can afford to be comical.
Regardless, this document contains statements of how you should govern yourself in regards to our service.
The statements listed within this document may change over time as this service evolves.
If any of the below offends you, then perhaps you are too young to be here.
This service is for adults.
The sole purpose of this product is to enrich the lives of adult relationships through continuous sexual integration.
Any usage of this service outside of that context is prohibited.
Simply putting forth the effort to use this service as provided can easily increase your sex life.
If for some reason you are a complete baboon, then this service is not for you.
If you claim to love your mate, yet have no desire to truly invest in that love, you should end that relationship immediately.
You are allowed to contact us anytime regarding this service regardless of membership status.
Our response may take anywhere from 3 minutes to 7 days.
All praises, statements, and complaints are welcomed.
Do NOT contact us about your pets or ghost problems.
That is what veterinarians and ghost hunters are for.
Do NOT contact us if your mate is trying to kill you.
That is what 911 is for.
You giggle, but we are are serious!
This service is subscription based and covers a single couple under one form of payment.
Your subscription rate shall not change as long as you remain a subscriber, regardless of your subscription rate.
If you disconnect the service and come back later, we cannot guarantee the rate will be the same.
You will get 14 days to try the service free of charge.
This means you can fully use the service in its entirety and cancel within 14 days without paying a single cent.
Obviously, after trial period we will know that you love the service as much as we do.
At that time, your account will be charged at the subscription rate you registered.
You and your mate are allowed to fully use this service absolutely FREE of charge on a 14-day trial basis.
The trial gives you plenty of time to determine if it meets your needs.
After the trial period, no refunds shall be issued.
You still have the option to cancel your service at any time.
We do not offer refunds after the trial because we want you to be mentally invested in your relationship.
If you are not mentally invested in your love life, then you are just wasting your time and our resources.
Do not try to pull your masterful negotiating skills on us.
The only way we would issue a refund is if your situation is truly extraordinary.
Besides, why would you want a refund from a platform that provided you with amazeballs sex with the person you love?
That does not compute.
We are not like these lowlife companies that sell your information to make a quick buck.
That is so disrespectful.
The privacy of your information is secure and guaranteed.
That includes payment information as well as anything personal you save using this service.
As a matter of fact, we do not actually store your payment information.
That particular data is processed by a third party partner that has passed the highest level PCI compilance, so you can rest easy knowing your information is safe.
Regardless, with all this protection, you are responsible for the data you download from or transmit to this service.
This service is meant to serve adult couples.
You shall not be recognized as a couple until your mate accepts the relationship invitation delivered as a notification.
Once established, you should expect to receive a notification every 3 to 5 days in advance - telling when you are scheduled to have sex.
For this feature as well as others provided, we expect you to inform us if these features are not operating as intended.
We expect you to know that violating, or attempting to violate, the security of this site or service is prohibited.
Any such violations will result in criminal penalties against you.
We expect you to have more sex in your relationship than you would normally without this service.
We expect you to use the tools provided in order to receive the pleasures you desire as demanded or defined by you.
If your sex life does not improve, we are obviously not responsible.
If you see areas of the service that need improvement, we expect you to notify us so that we can help you achieve the best experience possible.